под катом море ангста на самом деле его здесь будет значительно меньше чем ожидалось - разговаривать с самим собой всё-таки полезно дальше инглиш forgive me 1) of all, i honestly dislike the part of me that gives a shit what people say here. it really pisses me off that i waste my nerve cells here. 2) but since i do: i also hate people that come out of nowhere and decide to 'spill some light' on my persona. i just don't like people talking about me, even if it's praise - it embarrasses me. 3) it gives me a fucking pit in my stomach to hear people say that my looks, the intonation of my voice, the manner in which i behave, speak or gesticulate is v e r y r u s s i a n it disturbs me because all i've seen of 'typical' russian-ness is, well, not flattering i did not grow up in that country and i do not belong there, my inner and outer politics bear no relation what so ever to the mentality of the russian people (maybe i am somber and realistic at times and not as trustworthy of the state etceetc) i don't hate it because i'm "trying" to migrate or be part of a foreign community i hate it because it never implies anything good, nor do i ever perceive it as something good just like if you tell a bastard that it seems to you that he is a bastard, or that a dwarf is, to you, positively dwarfish in his looks capice? just because i was born there and my parents are russian, i happen to speak the language and have that god forsaken passport - does not make me RUSSIAN it doesn't make me european, american or british either. i respect my historical heritage and the land, as well as a bunch of precious people. just so that you know, when you tell an american (indian, french, german, italian, brit, japanese etc) that their something is very american etc etc - i doubt that their first thought is "this must be a compliment", "it's a positive comment" dream on and shut the lights off oh, and by the way - what does 'looking' russian imply? the country is very big ya'know.
and this is where i ran out of steam talk about making из мухи слона
and anyway, who gives a shit what some gal says online, nay, who gives a shit what she thinks about me? her opinion, in reality, has no importance what so ever. null.
Yes?
а у меня в квартире окна запотели, вот тебе и потепление...
уже надоели все эти: "Как тебе холодно? Ты же русская!"